OK girls and boys, if anyone of you want a modelling career then swing into Club XS this Saturday night because we have exactly 126 different sets of sexy knickers, bras, corsets, teddies, g strings, t bars and man kinie's that need a host so they can be displayed along our cat walk.

Backstage we have our XS Bi-Buffs that will be there to help you with the makeup, fix up your hair and clean and paint the nails.

Our roving Club XS correspondant in India, Raphael, has just pulled off the scoop of the year.  He has arranged to have Kamal Kline to be our judge for the evening.  But wait .... there's more.  Yes - the winner is going to get two, one-way tickets to Bollywood to be an extra in the highly acclaimed re-make of the "African Queen", which has been re-vamped and turned into an Indian swingers movie called "African Queen in India". 

Kamal is huge in India and is hoping to lose some weight in Australia so if you see him on the Club XS courtesy push bike, don't pick him up or throw things at him because it is all a part of the package Raphael, our agent, has promised him.  He arrives in Perth on the red eye special that sees him fly right over us to Melbourne and then back via Virgin to Perth from Bombay. 

So that, and the 12 hour bike trip, should see Kamal ready to rock and roll come opening as he should be well warmed up by then. Make sure you say 'hi' to the big man when you see him.  We would also really appreciate it if someone could throw a bit of curried leftovers into a bowl or two and bring it along, as Raphael included meals in the package he offered.

We will be having one of our favourite hoes, a black witch, who wiill be filling in for her husband Sachrin as he has acting commitments, who will be Kamal's interpretor.  Although our favourite little witch does not really speak Punjab she is fully fluent in Latin, which, as we all know, is very close.  In any case what she misses, she will make up, and as she is so good at this we will not know anyway.

Boy, are we lucky then - I am over the moon and can not thank all of those for making this possible enough: Cross your Fingers Airlines, India's no 1 VIP delivery shuttle and fast curry food chain have also reciprocated by giving our winner the one way ticket and all meals whilst on the seven day flight back to India, winds being favourable of course.

So to give our guest the warm welcome he so richly deserves, lets all dress Indian swingers style; that's lots of red dots for the women who are married and those who are not married, i feel, should have blue dots.  Gay men can wear pink dots and bi men can have the ying yang dot in two tone brown.  Straight men can wear towels on their heads and say they are single even if they are not as this is, after all, our little India.  To top it off, I expect everyone to paint a taxi sign on the side of their car and crash into at least two vehicles before arriving and claim it was not their fault.

It is traditional in India when greeting guests to clasp hands together then spring them wide open, repeatedly claiming in a flat voice what a wonderful thing it is to be honored by their company over and over whilst at the same time shaking head from side to side to confirm this.  You can also, if you really like them, tell them you are also a tiger, by saying, "I am a tiger you know" and at same time using one hand to demonstrate your very sharp claws by sweeping your arm at their face as a tiger no doubt would.

We have had to restore the website from a backup.  The reasons for this are long and not particularly interesting but what this means for you is that whatever happened on the site in the last few weeks is gone.

If you registered in the last few weeks you will need to register again. 

Over the next few days everything should slowly come back online.

Sorry for the downtime.